mutual apathetic romance
by suicidal bitch
Summary: He barely touched my lips and yet I was in the brink of sanity.I hate him..I hate him..I hate him…I almost thought too loudly that I was beginning to think he can hear me out loud.This is just something brought out by circumstance...
1. the start of all perplexity

_"They laid eyes on each other and their fates were sealed" _

**HERMIONE'S POV**

Gawd, that awful pain in my chest when I saw Ron kissing Lavender..

_He said he loved me, didn't he?_

I ran to the astronomy tower abandoning all thoughts and leaving everything at risk..

At first I didn't notice him standing there, hidden in the shadows..

"sod off mudblood, I got here first" he said, both startling and angering me in the same time..

"I don't remember you owning this, or any part of Hogwarts for that matter Malfoy" I retorted, trying to bring out as much hatred as I can in the sentence..

"why are you here any way mudblood?"

"why do you care?"

"I don't"

"then why ask?"

"sod off"

"shut up"

"no you shut up!"

"fuck granger! Can't you be a little less annoying for once in your low, miserable life?" he raged unto me, as if trying to silence me with anger..

"my life was _PERFECT _Malfoy! perfect until I saw Ron kissing Lavender! Everything was going according to the order I have planned in my head until I realized everything he said to me was a lie! Everything was going my way until, until…"

I covered my face with my hands, unable to control the tears that were now pouring out of my eyes,

Embarrassed by my breakdown in front of the person I love to hate..

"it's okay granger.." he said so softly, while caressing my back as he slowly brought me closer to his body, bringing me to a hug..

I knew it was wrong, but at that moment, his warmth seemed as though it was the only thing that could break the ice that was beginning to form in my heart..

I was hesitant, yes, but somehow, I could not bring myself to push him away..

His closeness sent shivers down my spine, giving me sensations I could not even put into words..

all I know is that I was beginning to drown, without even knowing it..

_Tonight, only for tonight.._

I played to my mind as I felt his hand cupping my chin, making me stare into his dark gray eyes..

_How can someone be so cold and beautiful at the same time?_

I should have looked away, but I can't..

i couldn't..

I don't know if it was he who was approaching my face,

Or I closing the gap..

I don't know,

_I don't care.._

For once in my life I didn't give a damn..

He barely touched my lips and yet I was in the brink of sanity.

_I hate him.._

_I hate him.._

_I hate him…_

I thought almost too loudly that I was beginning to think he can hear me out loud.

This is just something brought out by circumstance..

Two people brought untimely by fate in the same place, wanting to release pent up misery..

And the next thing I knew, our tongues were waging battle I could only suffice..

He was kissing me with such ardor I never knew existed..

_Is this what they call passion?_

I hope he does not notice that this was my first kiss..

He parted the briefest of moments only to whisper

"I am not sorry to have taken away the sanctity of your lips.."

was it really that obvious?

but i needed no experience to equal the kiss..

and we were once against lost in this forbidden desire…

This is wrong..

"I'm suppose to hate you, you know.."

"and I was also told to do the same..

but just for tonight granger, just for tonight.."

_Just for tonight, _I carelessly thought…

And don't know how long the kiss lasted, but to my disappointment, it ended..

Our foreheads were touching, breathing hard, while closing our eyes..

"That most certainly did not happen Her-Granger.." he whispered first..

I only nodded in agreement, still lost in what happened moments ago..

And with that,

he released me abruptly and gracefully left the tower…

leaving me more hurt than I was when I entered the room..

and i don't even know why i was..

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**DRACO'S POV**

Thoughts were rampaging my head as I walked briskly to back to my room..

_I was kissing the mudblood…_

Mudblood..

Mudblood..

Gawd, that was one of the most passionate kiss I've ever had…

I've had a taste of most girls, but even if I'd combine them all, they couldn't surmount to what I felt a while ago…

_No, I am not suppose to be thinking that way.._

_It was wrong.._

_It wasn't suppose to happen.._

_It was good.._

_What the fuck?_

God I'm losing my mind!

I went to the astronomy tower coz I don't know where else to go.. Lucius gave me a letter saying I am to marry Pansy Parkinson at the end of my seventh year, which is practically the end of this term..

I have always lived up to what my father wants me to be..

I live only to please him and him alone..

I knew that my marriage would be of his decision, I have ebbed it in my mind, and yet I was still not prepared…

She was breathtaking when she entered the tower,

Illuminated by the moonlight,

Vulnerable and alone..

She stirred something in me, something I cannot understand..

A mixture of longing and sadness..

But why?

_It was just something brought out by circumstance.._

I was taught to abhor lowlifes, mudbloods most especially..

But at seeing her at that kind of pain was struck something in me,

I just felt that surge of protectiveness I knew I had in me..

_This is pure bull!_

Argh!

_I kissed her!_

As I arrived in my room, I climbed straight unto my bed, dragged the sheets to cover me totally..

I didn't want to think about what happened anymore,

Didn't want to analyze it, so to speak..

_I'll forget about it in the morning,_

_I'll forget about HER in the morning, _

_I'll forget about it.._

_Yes, I'll for get about it in the morning.._

And yet it was Hermione's scent he breathed in the next day..

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this is my first fic EVER, so please,tell me:

-what i can do to be **better** in this fanfic business..

-where did i go wrong

and most importantly,

-**_should i finish this fic?_**

thank you and God Bless!


	2. draco's loss of mental control

_Thank you so much for the reviews! i really don't know what to say.._

_yes, I know 3 is a small number but it means so much to me!.. _

_i'll try my best to bring out that kind of dracomione story that's full of denial of what they truly feel.._

_thank you again so much!_

_----------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_"Love isn't something you find._

_Love is something that finds you."_

_-Loretta young _

**DRACO'S POV**

The scent of lilacs and vanilla greeted me that morning, so familiar,

but I couldn't put my finger as to where I got the memory of the fragrance…

I rolled upon my bed, still closing my eyes and at the same time recalling where the hell did I smell that perfume when I've never been fond of them!..

And as if on cue, everything started to come rushing through my head..

_Evening.._

_Tower.._

_Sobbing.._

_Kissing.._

_Granger.._

_Bloody Hell!_

I sat abruptly that the sudden flow of blood gave me a headache..

_This was not going to be good day, _I thought wildly..

_What the hell was I thinking last night?_

probably the same thing as you are thinking of right now.._  
_

But I have to admit granger was quite good for a first timer..

Who would have thought a smart ass like her could give one helluva kiss like that?

_What the fuck?!_

Why the hell am I thinking of her in these terms?!

Since when did granger become a good kisser?

_Okay, now I'm confused and utterly distraught.._

I lay back on my bed, trying to assess things..

I am just an ordinary boy with natural urges, confused and alone…

But there was something about her that makes words cannot suffice to define…

The warmth of her body felt so right…

_It's not suppose to be!_

The way her body perfectly fitted my body was undeniable…

_Like hell, it was!_

And,

_stop it!_

That kiss, that kiss we shared..

_Don't you even think about the stupid kiss!_

It was intense, electrifying and so much more, an irrevocable sense of longing and protectiveness rushed through me,

A sudden urge of wanting to hit whoever was the cause of the tears she had,

_Enough!_

I ended my thoughts, disappointed at how little control I seem to have over my reasoning..

_Must be because of too much Quidditch practice, the stress and all.. I should take some time off.._

I took a cold shower, changed my clothes and headed straight to the Great Hall for breakfast…

I walked over to my usual place in the Slytherin table and again, without my permission, my mind was set to work.

_Granger better keep her mouth shut or…_

Without a second's thought, my eyes were off to the Gryffindor's table and a pair of dark brown eyes met my gaze..

Damn is she beautiful, seated between potter and weasel..

why the hell is she still sitting beside weasel after what he did to her?

_why the hell do i care?_

_wait,_

_Beautiful?!_

I'm almost in control of everything but my mind..

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I know it's kind of short,

But I have loads of school work! Finals is next week and

Almost every research paper is due the following day!

Please forgive me for the briefness,

I do promise the next chap will be longer, it will be in Hermione's POV..

So, _how did I do? __**Did I suck?**_

_How may I improve?_

_Should I continue?_


	3. losing control

Alas!

The next chapter!

It's in hermione's POV..

I had a hard time writing this one, for every time I got the chance someone would just go bothering me until I lost the former idea…hmph..

Thank you so much for all the reviews!

I'm overwhelmed by them!

**Pirateluver**: thank you!

**Swfap88**: thank you also, I'm now writing whenever I can so I can update asapÜ

**Writer of mysteries**: I'm trying to make long chapters, I have so much in my head that i don't know if they'll blend in good with the rest of the story, I'm trying in vainÜ

**Chrystal slara**: thank you so much for the adviceÜ

**Politik780**: yeah, I thought so too, thank you for the reviewÜ

**Silkrose**: thank you so much!ÜÜÜ

**-----------------------------------------------------------**

_"Accept the things to which fate binds you_

_and love the people with whom fate brings you together,_

_but do so with all your heart." _

_-Marcus Aurelius _

**HERMIONE'S POV**

_And he was staring back at me_

I quickly turned away, as if his mere glare could kill me.

Avoiding him is what I should be do, not losing myself in petty imaginations I now often find myself in to.

_Stay focus!_

_It was a mistake I should learn from and now forget.._

"Hermione Love, is there something bothering you?" Ron, asked in the most unconvincing voice.. well, at least to me.

_Oh yes Ron, everything's terrible wrong!_

_I find you kissing Lavender in the darkest hour of the night-and the same with myself only with the enemy!_

_And you know what's worst?!_

_I find myself daydreaming about Malfoy!_

"Nothing Ron, everything's perfect!" I lied almost too happily..

_I'm not telling him or anyone else for that matter what I saw,_

_coz if I do, word's gonna leak out, and I'll end up being the biggest loser in the history Hogwarts!- _

_'Miss Perfect cheated by the weasel! Brilliant!'_

no, I'm not ready to succumb to people degrading me.

No one is going to find out.

No one is going to know.

_Maybe except for Malfoy._

I'll just deal with him later.

"are you sure, love?" Ron asked in between bite-full of sausages while wrapping his right arm around my waist.

I wiggled out of his uncomfortable embrace, disgusted at how realistic his demeanor is to me.

So passionate with Lavender, and the same with me.

_And I thought Malfoy was worse!_

"I'll go to the library, I have to reread my essays again. I don't want professor Snape giving me any detention!"

"but miss granger, you are _PERFECT_. Mistake is a word that is most unlikely to

be included in your vocabulary." Harry said as a-matter-of-factly, deciding to join the conversation.

"well Harry, as perfect as I may seem to everyone else and to you,

I am only human, entitled to a bit of errors every once in a while.

Don't bother waiting up for me, see you in double potions!"

As I stood up, Ron so obviously dropped everything his hands were holding,

His attention diverted to the sight of my legs.

Apparently, so was Harry's and everyone else's (guys in particular) in the table.

I wanted to get even.

I wanted to show to Ron what he'll be missing if he'll let me go.

This morning as I woke up, i came to a conclusion that a guy's sexual fantasy is easier to feed than his mouth,

I trimmed all-and I mean ALL of my skirts to be a good 5-6 inches above my knees.

_Yes, everything's going to plan._

The guys, _most especially Ron_, were drooling as I walked intentionally slow out of the great hall,

trying in vain to imitate those models I see on T.V.

Gawd I was loving the attention!

That'll show Ron and Lavender!

_Why haven't I thought for this before?_

I was in the happiest of moods as I walked to the library that morning..

Out of nowhere, a pair of strong hands pulled me into an empty classroom.

I struggled to break free.

Panic was an understatement to what I was feeling.

"it's me"

He spun me around and a pair of gray eyes startled my brown ones.

"what do you want Malfoy?" I said in a shaky voice,

Annoyed that his presence stirred something of which I do not understand in me.

All he gave was a blank stare, enough to make me back away,

Finding myself trapped to the wall, and me exit far behind Malfoy.

I looked down, not understanding why I was scared or if I was scared.

_I__'ll take this opportunity to tell him to keep his mouth shut about everything._

_from what i shared that night up to that kiss we had.._

Lost in thought, I had not noticed that both his hands touched the wall behind me.

When I looked up, I found myself in between his arms and my face a good few inches away from his,

Making my breath stop for a moment.

He used his right hand to loosen his tie, and opened a few buttons of his shirt,

Exposing his muscular chest.

Quidditch did wonders to his body.

_Is it me or is this room getting hotter by the minute?_

I quickly shook my head and blushed at the realization of my thoughts,

"enjoying the view, Granger?" he said arrogantly,

giving me that smirk he's so fond of.

"Enjoying something while in your company is one of the last things I plan to do in my life, Malfoy."

"it may be the last, but still you intend to do it, am I right?"

"I did not say that."

"I simple rephrased what you said."

"you still haven't answered my question."

"don't changed the subject miss goody-two-shoes. By the way, I enjoyed the show you put on a while ago. Why were you sitting with the baboon this morning?"

_So he did notice my display of legs._

"it's none of your business."

He didn't retort.

But he was getting dangerously closer.

My body betrayed my command as I found myself ready to devour him at any time.

_This cannot be happening._

_This cannot happen again._

But it did.

His lips touched mine and I lost whatever I was thinking of before that.

His hand tugged my hair, while the other grazed the curve of my back.

I was hesitant at first, but then my hands now seemed to have a mind of their own.

His hair was soft and smooth.

My heart was pounding loudly as I ventured to his chest, down to his

torso, while the other was left at his nape of his neck.

He lifted me up against the wall, and I quickly wrapped my legs on his waist.

I don't know if it was possible, but our hands were everywhere.

_why the hell am i tolerating this?_

_this is wrong._

_he is vile and he's my best friends' enemy._

I pulled my face away trying to catch my breath, trying to gather the effort to tell him to stop, instead i was frenzied and found it even more difficult to breathe as he now nibbled my earlobe.

He loosened my tie, unbuttoned the first three buttons of my shirt and his kiss traveled from my chest, pausing a few inches above my breast.

He mumbled something gibberish or something I just cannot understand because of what was happening.

_This is wrong._

_This is madness._

_This is betrayal to everything I believe in, to my friends.  
_

_I should stop this, NOW.  
_

But I didn't even try…

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_I'm new to writing this kind of scenes, so PLEASE_

_how did I do? __**Did I suck?**_

_How may I improve?_

_Should I continue?_


	4. actions speak louder than words

**Thank you all sooooo soooooo much for the reviews! they are my inspiration and motivation!**

A/N: I won't be able to write or update anytime soon, projects are piling up and it demands my utmost attention… I don't even think this chapter is a good one, I made it in a jiffy and most of what I make in a hurry aren't that good, so please forgive me if I may disappoint you.. But I will promise that the next chapter will be of more detail and thrill.. the next chapter will be of more confusion between the two, more of debates (between their own minds) and so on…

**for the new readers of my fic:** those in italics are thoughts of the character...

If you have ideas, please do share them with me, I wouldn't mind at all… I appreciate a bit of help… thank you again,

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_"The best feeling are those that have no words to describe them"_

_-Michelle Hammersley _

**DRACO'S POV**

_Gawd was she driving me mad!_

My kisses slowed down as I neared her breasts, half-expecting she'll stop me, but luckily, she didn't.

_This is way better than what I had in mind a while ago…_

All I planned earlier was a bit of snogging, a temporary release of the desire I got from the little tease she has put on a while ago.

Yeah, snogging was a formerly good idea, but something was cooking now and it is definitely way better than kissing…

_Way better…_

Who would have ever known that Miss Know-It-All had all the perfect curves in the right places… _fascinating…_

Now thoughtless of my actions, I massaged her breasts as I claimed her lips again, filled with more urgency and gusto…

_I just can't seem to get enough,_

_Every kiss grows sweeter,_

_More breathtaking,_

_More appealing…_

Her hands were taking a playful journey of their own,

Pulling my hair with careful eagerness, then traveling to my back painfully slow, taking all the time in the world before they have reached my abdomen. She was innocently teasing me, having no idea how great the effect of her hands trailing along my abs were having on me.

I took a sharp breath and held her hands tightly but tenderly, unable to bear the sensations she was naively giving me.

"You're driving me mad granger!"

"And so are-" I silenced her with another kiss, knowing that having a conversation would ruin the momentum…Her mouth was more useful this way than to have it talking. Her wrists were granted freedom.

I placed one hand on her thigh; leisurely wandering beneath her skirt… she tensed for a moment, as if battling with inner commotion, but eased again after just a brief time.

_Weasely has no idea of what he's missing._

Every touch she gave was erotic yet noticeably done innocently…

_Was that even possible?_

The thought of her being a virgin,

Of I being the first to touch her in these personal areas,

Of I being her first, suddenly made me want her even more.

She broke the kiss, panting, but I still had not abandoned exploring her body.

Everything was an enjoyable horizon, a pleasurable pursuit.

From beneath her skirts, up to her full round breasts, not hurrying, then down her back

And lower, stopping at her buttocks.

_Weasely __really__ has no idea of what he's missing._

Our foreheads touching, she closed her eyes. In a whisper I could barely hear, she said "we should stop this Malfoy."

And yet her hands were caressing my chest. Her actions were speaking otherwise.

I was staring at her this time, admiring the beauty she possessed. She was flushed; her lips were still so red, swollen from the kiss we shared.

Her eyes were the darkest of brown when she opened them. In them I saw desire and confusion…

With a stronger voice she repeated "we should stop this now."

But I didn't want to,

I didn't want this to end.

I wanted to take her right then and there, and make passionate love with her.

_To hell with house rivalry._

_To hell with what father-_

_FATHER._

As the face of Lucius entered my head, I released Granger abruptly that she lost balance.

She stumbled to the floor but I quickly helped her up.

Dangerously close, _again_.

Father is not going to be happy if he finds out that his heir is making out with a Gryffindor and worst, a Mudblood.

_If he finds out._

the closeness of our bodies seemed to once again bring back the passion that exploded a while ago.

Sensing and fearing this, Granger then became alert.

_Maybe her mind is now working into full gear with the realization of how Potter and Weasel would react if they found out that their smart-ass princess was snogging the enemy._

We quickly fixed our clothes and headed for the door.

Granger held her right hand to me and put her ear against the door, trying to notice if anyone was out there.

I was eyeing her amusedly, enjoying the look of her disoriented face.

_Still thinking of her unmarked records._

Concluding that the coast was clear, she turned to me and said,

"you are to keep your mouth shut about _EVERYTHING_, Malfoy, do you hear me? _EVERYTHING_."

"Bossy, aren't we? what makes you think I'll follow your orders, Mudblood?", I retorted, giving her a smirk.

"coz if you will not value confidentiality Malfoy, I'll tell every bloody person in this school that you snogged a Mudblood!"

"like I'm the only one here worried about tarnish-free records…"

"shut it! Just Shut it Malfoy! I don't have time to argue with you coz I am late for class, we'll discuss this some other time!"

_Could hardly wait!_

With that, she turned the knob and walked out, leaving me all alone with my thoughts.

Leaning against the door, I looked at my watch and realized that were making out for almost and hour.. an _hour._

I smiled at myself…

Memories of what happened earlier were now clouding my head, but I shoved them instantly, logic must now take the better of me.

What happened a while ago was just spontaneous fun.

_I doubt it._

My hormones were just taking control of me.

_I still doubt it._

She is a woman, I am just a guy with sexual needs and-

_If that's how you would like to put it-_

ARGH! I'm going mental!

I'm tired of these debates in my head!

I'd better head to class…

_That will not happen again,_

_I will not allow it to take place,_

_And I will not look for opportunities that it may happen, again._

But all I could think about was how to let Hermione Granger give her virginity to me,

_Willingly._

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_Weeeee!! End of chappie!_

_Tell me how'd I go??_

_Please do tell me how to improve_

_did i spell** 'snogging' **right???!!!  
_

_please do tell me which is which,_

_ some spell it with one g, and others with a double g..._

_i tried the dictionary, but i couldn't find the bloody word there...i realized who better to ask than the readers and authors themselves! so would you please tell me??_

_thanx a bunch!  
_


	5. unwanted desire

**Thank you again so much for the reviews!!**

**A/N:** I'm didn't feel like posting yet, but I felt obliged to do so coz I made a promise of having a better chapter and stuff…so well, to be honest, I have a dozen of ideas on how these two would progress in my plot, but I just have this problem on trying to put it into words.. well, I might as well try, and see how it actually goes… thank you so much everyone!

_-please do tell me if I have disappointed you or so on…-_

**Soaringhigh88**: I'm so glad you love it! It brightened up my day!

**Pirateluver**: thank you so much for the review and the info!Ü

**Flaming Beauty Ino**: thank you so much for the review! So happy that you loved itÜ

**Writer of mysteries**: thank you so much!Ü

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_"Love is like a bazaar: the admittanceid free-- but_

_it costs you something before you get out" _

**HERMIONE'S POV**

_Okay. So now I'm freaking pissed!_

I'm not in this foul mood because we have potions.

Not because I was late for potions this.

Not because it was potions first thing in the morning.

Not because it was double potions with slytherins,

Not even because of Snape.

_The fucking bastard just can't get out of my mind._

And here I am, in the middle of the night, _still _thinking of him. Even snape's taunts were couldn't pass through the careful rationalizing that was happening in my mind today. Yes, the prat must have cast a spell on me the moment I left the room, coz he's now literally evading my mind!

Events that happened a while ago are just his musings that I should gladly forget and never even dare recollect.

_In the hall way after potions, I saw him alone, outside a deserted classroom. I was prepared to walk the other way, but signaled me to follow him inside. I don't know what the bloody hell has possessed me that I bloody followed the moron!_

"_go ahead you guys, I'll just follow catch up… I forgot something in the library." I lied to harry and ron. Wow, now I'm lying to my best friends. Could this get any better?_

"_you sure hermione?" harry asked, cocking one brow…_

"_positive" I said. We then walked our separate ways. I walked ever too slowly. I didn't want malfoy to have this notion that I was 'happy' to oblige with what he was proposing._

_When I was sure that no one else was looking at me, I entered the room…_

_I was greeted by his kiss, eager and passionate. Before I knew it, I was kissing him back with equal force. Yes, I was inexperienced in this matter, but with Malfoy, somehow, everything just came naturally._

_Things were getting a little farther, he was unbuttoning my shirt and I was doing the same to him._

But why is he doing this to me? Why is he tormenting me with these malicious acts? Is he wanting a prize of me? 'who ever get's to fuck granger first is the best man'?

At first I thought that I could easily avoid him, but he seems to be everywhere.. from hallways, to quidditch games and to almost every one of my class… is it me or is everything in this planet wanting us to be together? As if.

And it's been like this for weeks now.

But I'm tired of denying things. Yes, I did feel did feel something in that kiss.

It was something beyond what words could define.

Ron have kissed me oh so many times, but I am positively sure that all of those cannot equal the sensations I have experienced moments ago.

I've never been the type to delve into such things. I have always imagined my first time with the man that I love, making endless passionate love somewhere… no, matrimony was not needed for me. If I found that guy to love for the rest of my life, I would willingly give myself up to him.

_Why the hell am I having these thoughts?_

Matrimony, Making love and Malfoy. Nope, they don't seem to coincide.

To him, it was all for pure sex in the name of fun.

No, I am to stop myself the next time I get my hormones running.

"_stop Malfoy", almost pleading but not convincing._

_he was intoxicating, drugging me ever so slowly. _

"_why granger? I know you want me, I can feel it"_

_i was in the verge of giving everything up for nothing. _

"_because…" tears welled up my eyes and I tore myself from him, and I ran._

No, sex with Malfoy just cannot be. Any other guy but Malfoy. Yes, he drives me senseless with his kisses, makes me want to give up more than what I can offer. He sees me only as a mudblood and nothing more. this might be just a game to him. yes, this is just a game. i cannot let him break my heart.

_break my heart?_

_where the hell are my trail of thoughts leading?_

this is just lust and nothing more, nothing less.

These 'coincidental' meetings just have to stop.

_It's scarring the hell out of me._

I'm no longer furious about what Ron has done to me. No, Malfoy has been the _sole_ inhabitant of my mind.

_This has to stop._

This 'intentional' stealing of moments and me allowing the culprit to get away must end.

But.

_But I've wanted this._

Yes, as much as I want to stop it, I wanted this.

I don't know why.

_I just, want this too._

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**A/N: really, I wanted to make a really long one, but omigawd, so many nursing care plans to make! If I would fail the subject, I would be banned from using the computer! I really hate breaking my promises, but really, I have no choice but to put my projects in the number one list…**

**Sorry…sorry…sorry..(**


	6. she is mine and only mine

**A/N: I can tell I've disappointed most of you for I've only received 2 reviews in the last chapter…**

Hope that this chapter can make up for the last one…

It'll be more of what is going through Malfoy's mind.. Confusions, confessions, silent battles and so on..

_Please do tell me how to please you!_

Thank you!

**Please R&R!**

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_"We were two and had but one heart"_

_-Francois Villon _

**DRACO'S POV**

_She is now mine._

I gave in to this need. I vowed to never taste that extent of ecstasy with her.

And yet I did.

I needed just one night, just one night to prove to myself that I have only _lusted_ her body, that after getting what I want, I would stop having these vivid dreams of her moaning my name, of us becoming one. But no, I somehow yearned for more.

_I told her to meet me in the room requirements one Saturday night, unable to control this unwanted yearnings for her. Time ticked so slowly as my mind raced with thoughts that she is coming. I thought she wouldn't. She kept on saying to stop this, stop these secret meetings and sudden abductions in cupboards, hallways, broom closets, but with every single time I summon for her, she comes. She always does. I don't know why, but she somehow complies with what I want, as if she has been needing it too. With every encounter, we go a bit farther than the usual, but each time I tried to take off the only thing keeping our almost naked bodies, she stops my hand and brings it back to her breast. I oblige, for I didn't want this to stop. I didn't want to stop feeling her, didn't want to stop kissing her._

_And tonight she has come again, I heard her footsteps coming. She was discreet, yes, but my senses always heighten every time my mind thinks of her. I positioned myself near the door, so I could easily grab her and kiss her senseless before she could muster up a protest. And maybe so that she could also not bring the topic of ending these things, again. As soon as the knob turned and the door opened, I grabbed her without second thoughts, pushed her against the wall and began to kiss her. The kiss was deep, urgent, and passionate. She was kissing me with much intensity, our tongues battling for dominance, but as usual, neither gave up, leaving a war that would never end. I loosened her tie and unbuttoned her blouse. To my surprise, the usual protest she puts up with me before I begin to undress her upper extremities were gone. I place my right hand on her thigh then, slowly rubbing it while the other was holding her face, sluggishly caressing her chin. No protest. I was liking it. Moments have passed, and I realized that tonight was different. We were naked, completely naked. She allowed me to undress every part of her this time._

_I carried her to bed I have asked from my mind, laid her gently. I positioned myself on top of her as I look upon her dark brown eyes clouded with desire and passion. I first traced her face with my finger, admiring the beauty that was beneath me, dumbfounded at how blind I was to not notice her angelic face before. And then were kissing again, eager, devouring everything. Then, i trailed kisses from her mouth, to her neck, then stopped at her breast, sucking one nipple while massaging the other, savoring the sweetness of her. She arched her back, signaling the pleasure I was giving her. She was tugging on my hair blissfully painful but not too much. When I was satisfied, I carried along and went farther down until I reached between her thighs. She sat up as if in shock, obviously not used to this, "Draco! I-don't-Oh God-" she went limp, laid again on the bed, moaning my name over and over gain. It was driving me mad!. I knew I was coming so I went back to kissing her lips, almost losing the very little control I have left. Everything about her was driving me inane. I whispered against her lips "Hermione, Hermione," seeking her consent. She parted her legs, and I lowered myself into her._

_All those hate, all those insults lay forgotten as I embedded myself slowly deep into her. I know she is a virgin, and so I must be careful. _

"_it's going to hurt, I'm sorry, but I'll make it up to you"_

_And when I felt the sign of her virginity break, she winced in pain, clinging to me as if I was an essential part of her being. Soon enough, she was now moving with my rhythm, we were now one. My thrusts grew deeper, faster. My breathing was hoarse, and so was hers. We were in frenzy. I found her eyes shut while moaning my name ever softly. We were in the pinnacle of pleasure as we were slowly reaching our climax. We both came at the same time. I showered her with butterfly kisses, then I laid her head upon my chest. Only one thought entered my mind._

_She is mine._

_She is mine._

_She is all mine._

Everything is starting to go complicated. I Wanted her. But somehow that want has turned into a need.

But I can't admit that,

_I can never admit that._

I have grown insatiable of her, wanting more with every kiss, every caress. I want more in every encounter. Yes, _it is wrong_, my mind dictates.

An after that night, I came to her for more. No more protest, no more hesitations. She submitted willingly, and I was for the first time…happy.

Every night was something new, an experience beyond exhilarating. Ripping yet invigorating my energy at the same time. I can't get my hands off her. And along these sensations, new emotions seemed to have also emerged form me. Anger fills me every time I see her with the weasel. With that touch he gives her, I needed all the energy I could muster to not knock him unconscious and tell him to get away from my property, my girl.

Yes, I have thought of her as mine. No one else can have her but I. only I will be able to touch her, to kiss her, to feel her. If it were possible, I would have bound her to me for my keeping. I am tired of worrying about her every time she is not at sight.

Father will be most disappointed at me for this. I have felt for the mud-muggle born. I cannot even bring myself to call her vile things anymore. She has stirred something in me that scares me. We are the total opposites, we are enemies. As much as I want to bring this to a whole new level, I cannot, for it is against what I believe in.

But I want her,

_I need her for myself._

I am befuddled with these new feelings inside. I have cared for her now, worried about her and I do not even understand why. And it scares me. It scares me.

But could I have?

_Or have I already fallen in love with her?_

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Please do forgive any errors that you have noticed, I have typed it in a jiffy and posted it just as fast…

Please do tell me how it go..

It was my first love-making scene, so I really don't know how to go about it…

Could you please tell me how to make a very effective love scene so I may make the next time Draco and Hermione make love memorable?

Please do give me suggestions..

Thanks a bunch for reading!


	7. when he sleeps and before she wakes

**A/N: **thank you all so much for the reviews! (I don't think I could ever thank you guys enough.. –sobs-) …I have come to realize that if each one who was able to read my fic would be able to give just one review, I'd have over a thousand by now… -sighs- but never mind, I'm happy anyways for all your support and motivation guys! I am touched beyo9nd words.. –nearing tears-

_**Pirateluver: **__thank you so much for your support! Yeah, I agree, too much description in that topic is gross! I once read a fanfic (of Draco and Hermione's of course) and their was this description of 'a strand of saliva' before he resumed kissing her… isn't that gross?! (sorry to the author, but really, over describing such intimate act is way beyond morbid) - cheers!-  
_

_**ILOVERWHPDM**__: thank you so much for the compliment! –blushes-_

_**Re-o-ko: **__omigawd! You're one of a few who noticed what I was trying to evoke to the readers! Thank you so much! –hugs- -huge grin-_

By the way, I'm so not good in elaborating the ambiance of wherever Hermione and Draco are, so I figured that while I'm still learning that(describing, I mean;), I am continuing first in their dwelling of thoughts and emotions… I hope you don't mind, I just figured that I'm better in trying to 'essay' (sorry for that, I can't seem to find the right word… hehe) their minds out. I want you guys to sense what their feeling, and try to predict what they would do… hope it turns out right –_crosses fingers_-

**-------------------------------------------------------**

_"Love sought is good,_

_but given unsought is better"_

_-William Shakespeare _

**HERMIONE'S POV**

_And I have given him the one thing I can never give to any other man._

I have stopped halting these emotions I have marked wrong for quite a while now. I wanted him so darn much I thought I was going to die of it. I have lounged myself with ideas that these are going to stop anytime soon, and that I, Hermione Granger possess strong will and determination to be able to _not_ give in to raging hormones.

_At least that's what I thought it was at first._

Yes, I thought that this was just a 'hormonal imbalance' which my body is going through. Something I would outgrow eventually. I made that as an excuse as to why I lose myself in his kiss, in his embrace in his touch. But no, it has grown into something more to that.

_And it is because of that as to why I am crying myself to sleep tonight, in his arms._

Even though I wouldn't admit it, I have given myself up to him, completely surrendered not only my physical self, but everything. _Everything._

Everything he said, he asked, he commands, I comply. I did, I had to. I know it is wrong, but I cannot deny myself of the little joy I find in surrendering to him.

_And with each kiss, I delve deeper into the unknown._

Each kiss, each embrace each caress has driven me beyond madness, intoxicating thoroughly, addicting me. He has become a vital part of my routine. Snogging in every secret place we could find, taking pleasure in this secret we have, secured with the ironic solace we have found in each other's. O_r was I the only one who have found the solace._

_I gave him all of me, forever his. Forever his._

That night we spent in the room of requirement is a memory I will forever keep in my heart. I will finally confess that I love him. I bloody love the vile man beyond what words could define. I never thought it would come to this, I have always sought my mind and never wore my heart around my neck, but yes, I have come to this, and there was no point in hiding what I feel. It is probably written all over my face; even an idiotic person could read and comprehend me through. Anyone could read through my eyes, anyone but Draco. It is either he is too darn sightless or just wouldn't acknowledge it.

I wanted to make him feel what I was feeling. I kissed with as much intensity I have in my heart whenever we did it. But I guess to him, it was not enough.

_And so I gave him all of me._

I have pushed ethics aside and let my heart rule this time. Before, I would divert his hands whenever they would go somewhere I didn't want them to be. But that first night, I decided to give everything to him. We made love countless times that night, exploring every crevice, every part of our body, leaving nothing unexplored. I thought I needed only one night, but from then on, we needed more. From then on, I wanted him more. From then on, I knew I was emotionally attached to him. I love him, but I cannot tell him that, no, I cannot. That night lead to another and the night after that, until this night.

He thinks of me as a mudblood, a piece of dirt that would taint his family name, benevolence to the majesty he posses. As much as I want to tell him the raging emotions I hide, I shall not. It has broken my heart to not tell him, but I dread his reaction if do so. I fear that he will walk away and never come back, leaving me in the bleak anxiety. I do not want that. No, I do not want that.

I want it to be forever like this, eternally held in his arms, comforted by the beat of his heart, cloistered in a passion I would never tire of.

As I find myself caught in the spell of somnus, I kiss his forehead and whisper "_I love you, no matter what you'll say"_, as I always do after a tiring night of ardor.

It's all I could do. Whisper it in the darkness; say it only to the wind.

"_I love you Draco"_

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**DRACO'S POV**

"_I love you Hermione Granger, and how much, you'll never know.."_

I whisper it to her as I kiss her forehead before she wakes up. I can only whisper it to her while she can't hear me, only confess it to her while she is unaware. I have showered her with so many insults for the past years I that I do not know if she will ever forgive me. I am ashamed of what I have done to her, she has given me something I am not worthy of. if I confess what I feel inside, that she has turned and melted the hostility of my heart away and made it beat again, will she believe? No, she will mock me. I fool myself of seeing love and adoration whenever I look into her eyes before I take her to bed, how I wish it were genuine and not just a fantasy of my mind. how I hope that she also feels the same. But I know she never would, she never can.

I always wake up before her, sufficing the fact that I always wake up at 3 in the morning out of habit. I guess she was tired with what we did last night. I take in her sight as we lie in my bed, my fingers stroking very side of her face, my eyes taking in the view, remembering the angelic face that lies before me, knowing that I may lose her one day and hoping that it wouldn't be anytime soon. Her flawless white skin is so full of warmth against mine, the same warmth that has filled me with mirth. I stroke her deceiving bushy yet unbelievable soft brown hair. She is the total definition of perfection, and only I get to admire it. She stirs, and snuggles closer to me, fitting perfectly along the contours of my body. We were like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, made for each other and only for each other.

But how could that be when we are the total opposites of each other -Our houses yet alone our bloodline. If only fate would smile upon us and grant me my hearts desire, of laying like this forever with this girl I have learned to love.

I kiss her forehead one more time with a smile and once again whisper,

"_I love you, Hermione_" I hugged her closer this time, careful not to wake her, and whispered again, and this time, it was with everything of me.

"_I love you_"

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So what d'you think?

How did I do?

How did it go?

**A/N:**_forgive the errors i may have made, i again typed this in a jiffy for i was only sneaking the use of my pc..my mother said i have become addicted to it and therefore is in need of a rehabilitation -cries-_.I know, draco's pov was kind of short, I just sort of wrote what I wanted Draco to say and do before I lose it from my mind. Any suggestion/s of what you would want to happen next? This is what I want of the two of them, hiding their feelings from each other.. and honestly, I don't know where to go from here. Since I've got what I want them to do, I no longer know where to take this story. Would you be kind enough to tell me where to go?? _Please?? –puppy-dog-eyes-_

and oh, i almost forgot, **should I change the title of this story?**


	8. revelations

**DISCALIMER: I DO NOT OWN DRACO(YET?)…WELL, MAYBE EXCEPT IN MY DREAMS..LOL**

**A/N**: I have so many hits but I get only less than 2 reviews! hmph… would really appreciate constructive criticisms you know… well, anyway, I hope you don't mind that I would be doing this chapter in **neither**Draco nor hermione's pov, and so I would narrate it in **third person **this time… _please do not mind_…

_**ILOVERWHPDM**__: LOL, I tried using the on screen keyboard once and it got to my nerves that I banged my keyboard out of frustration… LOL.. I'm pleased to hear that you're loving my story;)_

I think we've had enough of them trying to conceal each other's feelings, eh? So why don't we stir up a bit of confessions, and this time HEARD. I'm doing it in a third person's POV so that I may be able to elaborate more on BOTH sides, seeing that if I did it in first person's POV the lack of knowledge from what the other party is feeling is a bit of disappointing, don't you think?

_Here goes nothing…_ (Though still _literally begging_ for reviews, LOL)

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_-Every time you smile, I cry.-_

_He as kissing her with an intensity she was familiar of, but it wasn't with her._

She carelessly placed her heart in his hands, and he crushed it, just like that. She was still lurking there in the dark, hidden from the view of two sapiens procreating in the dark. _This is why he didn't come in time. _

She waited for hours in the room of requirement, Draco was never late, but now he was. _5 minutes, _she paced thinking that maybe a prefect duty has slowed him down. She was slowly engulfed with rage for making her wait. _10 minutes, _she was beginning to panic but decided it was irrational to be. _45 minutes, _and that did it. She walked out of the room, not realizing how hard she closed the door behind her, causing a large _thud_to echo across the halls of the school. It was late, so nobody was in sight and that was partly one of the reasons why she didn't bloody care who heard or whoever saw her. If something was blocking her way that moment, she would have happily kicked it out without thinking. She searched every classroom, scanning every space she could find. Each beat of her heart was making her walk vigorously, no longer was she mad, no, she was now worried. Each stride she was taking was killing the muscles in her legs, they were aching for a moment's pause for she has been searching for what seemed like ages and they have found their mirth when Hermione finally slowed down as she neared the potions room, loud moans emitting from the room. She was careful with each her step, clutching her chest with both hands, fearing and at the same time dreading what she may see. _No, it can't be with him_ she thought loudly, denying what she knows may be real. She was having second thoughts, hesitating whether she should take a peek or not. She was scared of what she might see. If she wouldn't look, she would know nothing. But this was Hermione Granger. She wanted to get to the bottom of things _always_, and this was something she wanted to know. Curiosity was telling her to look, obliging her to, but her heart was telling her to turn around and walk away. But inquisitiveness got the better of her, she took two noise-free long strides and she was near the door. Before she opened the knob, she muttered a silencing spell so that whoever was inside would not notice the intruder in their midst. She was counting her blessings as her deathly white knuckles turned the doorknob painfully slowly, moving the door cautiously. She was about to change her mind about it, for she thought of finding Draco was more important at that time when in that instant, she saw that platinum blonde hair she knew oh so well.

Her pupils dilated with disbelief as her mind agonizingly registered that body she was very familiar of. his back was facing her, and a pair of hands with red-manicured fingernails dug into his back, her legs wrapped around his hips. She was frozen at the spot, stunned, undeniable ache coursing through her heart. She was going to loose it right then and there when she heard the bitch moan and moan again with pleasure. She watched closely, wanting to discern who the hell was he fucking. She waited, watching while ignoring the dull pain that was causing her eyes to water. He was thrusting now, and with that, the whore ached her back and settled her face in his neck while licking his skin there. _Pansy Parkinson_. She should have known. She should have walked away, but she couldn't. Instead, she shifted her gaze upon the floor and allowed the pent up tears to flow. Pain was searing through out her body that moving has become a burdensome task to do. But in that second, pansy gasped and their gazes locked. She gave her a smirk, as if saying, _enjoying the show?_ And with that Hermione ran with a speed she never knew she could congregate. Draco turned to look at the direction pansy suddenly enjoyed gazing upon, and caught only a sight of bushy brown hair.

"Shit-" he said and quickly stopped what he was doing.

"Draky? There's no need she won't tell she was-"

"Shut up!" he cut her off "go away pansy! This was a mistake to begin with!"

"but Draky I was starting to enjoy-" she was begging, trailing one finger along his shoulder.

He brushed her off, and while wearing the last of his clothes, he stalked towards the door and whispered harshly to pansy

"don't show your bloody face to me, _ever_again." And walked out the door, following the direction Hermione went.

"bitch" pansy muttered as she gathered her clothes and made her way to her room.

It was Draco's turn to do the searching now, for he couldn't effing find her anywhere! He panicked the moment he saw her leave the room. He only gave in to what Pansy wanted for he was tired of her endless flirting and trying to seduce him that he decided to give her what she wanted. The moment he crashed his lips upon pansy's, he knew then that he loved Hermione, he really did love her. He couldn't place as to why the kiss was so bloody unsatisfying, why her touch was bloody intolerable and realized almost instantly at the same time why.

It wasn't Hermione Granger.

It wasn't his angel.

It wasn't the women he loves.

But he was a Malfoy, and he always finished what he started. So he just imagined that it was Hermione moaning, it was Hermione he was touching. He just made believe it was Hermione.

But why was she patrolling late? It was bloody 1 in the morning? Why the-

_FUCK!_

He now realized how Hermione found them he was supposed to meet he an hour ago! _how I could I be so STUPID? FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!_

He couldn't find her anywhere inside the castle, so he broadened his search in the grounds. Adrenaline was pumping, he was now frantically screaming, "Hermione! Hermione! Heermioonee!!!" and alas, he saw a figure near the lake, just beneath the old oak tree, knees drawn to her chest, head bowed, preventing him to see what was written in her face. He wanted to run to her and hold her tightly in his arms, lavish her with kisses and beg for her forgiveness. Anything to take away the hurt he has inflicted upon her. But he walked slow, for he did not really know what to do. He was bewildered by the sting he had in his heart that he had to grab his chest by one hand, aiding it as if it has been hit by an arrow.

"go away!" she screamed at him, still not looking up, tightening the hold she had upon her legs, as if restraining herself from doing something she might regret.

"Hermione, please, let me explain.." he began but was unable to finish.

"there is nothing to explain Malfoy, everything I saw was perfectly clear. Unless maybe it was your bloody clone pansy was fucking a while ago!" she jerked her head up as she said the last sentence, and what he saw in her eyes struck him like a thousand needles upon his heart.

"I'm sorry" was all he could come up with. So many things was going through his mind, a thousand words he could articulate, but he thought he it was best to stay simple. He knelt beside her, reaching out, aching to touch her wanting to take her right then. But he knew her temper, and so he withdrew his hand and knelt beside her, just a few inches apart.

"Hermione.." but she covered her ears with her hands as she shook her head, tears were streaming down her eyes.

"stop it Draco, I do not want to hear you lies! After all, everything is a lie, isn't it? I have given you everything of me Draco, everything, but it seems to me that you're too stupid of a prat to get the whole bloody picture!" she stood up now, trying to get as much space as she can between them. Draco now too stood, crossed his arms and leaned one side on the tree, still facing her but placed his eyes on the lake. The silence was deafening between them.

Draco was the first to speak

"Hermione, I'm sorry, I truly am" he let his arms fall from his sides and took slow steps at Hermione. He continues "I know I've hurt you, and I'm sorry. Please, do not turn away from me, forgive me. Curse me, hex me, bring me to oblivion, just please grant me your forgiveness." He drew near which each word he spoke, eyes locked upon Hermione, trying to show to her the sincerity in his eyes. His clothes were not fixed, she noticed. His tie was loose around his neck, his long sleeves not tucked appropriately which is why they appeared disheveled. His hair was the most bundle of mess, but nonetheless, he was a god in all his glory in her eyes. She looked away, once again angered with the way she thought about him. She gathered her thoughts for the last time, and was more certain about what she was going to say. Once again, she put rationality in the start.

"Draco, I think we should end this-_for good._ This should end easy after all, we have no commitments or whatsoever with each other. I acted childish and that was foolish of me to forget that you are not mine. I am sorry for my inappropriate display of emotions, and I guess this is goodbye." With that, she turned around and was headed straight back into the castle.

But he instantaneously grabbed her arm and pulled her closer to him. "no Hermione. I do not want to end this, You are mine and _only _mine, do you understand that? no other man will ever touch you or so help me god, I will kill them with no mercy." He stated it only through a deathly whisper, but it was enough for Hermione to almost comply. She probed his eyes for answers. She could see it in his eyes, but she needed to hear it coming out from his mouth. She wanted to hear it. She _needed_ to hear it.

"why Draco?" was all she said, but he understood what she was trying to question. But he couldn't bring himself to admit it. "because I bloody say so dammit!" he roared while shaking her immensely.

And with that, she couldn't control the raging emotions she had kept hidden for god knows how long already. She tore her arms away from his hold and brought her hands upon his face. She searched his eyes for something and whispered while fresh tears formed rivers upon her cheeks "you probably think i'm _stupid _right? just because I love you, you think you can manipulate me? maybe you could.. so maybe you can.. and you've fooled me with your pathetic lies.. i've become an utter fool to believe your words.._ I LOVE YOU GODDAMIT!_ you took me for granted, you've made me a mess! and you think you can have me with just a line? so maybe you can, but don't you dare try.._don't you even think about it.I love you, _but that's something way beyond what you can seem to comprehend." And with that, she released him abruptly, and ran as fast as she could for the second time that night, back into her rooms where she buried her face in her pillow and sobbed all throughout the night.

_She said it. She loves me too._

Draco slumped back against the tree, deciding hell was a better place to be in now.

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Tenenenen!

**A/N**: so well...this is the longest chapter I've done so far.. and oh, please do not mind again the errors, I was sneaking again to use my pc..LOL.. I will edit them when I get the chance…AND OH, 'EFFING' is like another term for 'fuck/fucking' for those who doesn't know(but I do stand corrected?)

Please, I am in _**hunger**_ for more reviews…


	9. hatred of a minute

**DISCALIMER: I DO NOT OWN DRACO(YET?)**

**WELL…hmmmmm…. MAYBE EXCEPT IN MY DREAMS..LOL**

**A/N**: yay! I am beyond contentment with the reviews I have received! I know, everybody' going like "so hollow this person, eight reviews and she's going crazy!" but hey, I'm new and I'm bloody loving it! Hehehehehe….

_**ILOVERWHPDM:**__ yay! I'm glad you're loving it! Hehehehehe…I am overwhelmed:)_

_**IHatePansy: **__and I am filled up to the brim with the reviews! thank you so much for being one of those generous souls!..yep, I do hate pansy too, and I wanted you guys to hate her too that's why I chose her to do the dirty job –huge grin- I do hope I can justify dracp's actions though:)_

_**Dani-Girl89**__:-blushes- thanx a bunch, I am deeply touched –turns scarlet-..I hope I can continually 'feed your hunger'… -crosses fingers-_

_**River of Souls:**__I feel you there.. well, nothing's gonna stop us! Haha… pleased that you're loving the story:)_

_**bananna15**__:thank you so much for the review! I hope I may rationalize his actions in this chap:) I need Draco to become a complete arse so to give the story more flavor..hehehe:)_

_**Charlie Bucket:**__hmmm…I am considering that idea… I may do that, but I won't say…I might give away what's in store! Hehehe:)_

_**Chrystal Slara**__:thank you for all the advice you've showered upon me…struggling hard to get chapters as long as the last one…I am no longer updating for the sake of updating, I am now focusing on depth and subtle description:)_

_**pirateluver**__: hell yes, I am going to…how long? We'll see.. –huge grin- hehehehe:)_

I am no longer 'crash updating' (though I still 'crash upload'..hahahahaha) …I am prompting myself to read and reread whatever stuff I write so to bring out the best… maybe it won't be good enough for you, but please do understand that this is my first fanfic and real writing experience and I am still getting used to describing without redundancy… I am learning in vain, and constantly praying that you may like what I have in store

_Here goes nothing… (and once again,__** begging**__ for reviews)_

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_-Let me bleed-_

_It has been centuries since he has last touched her._

When really, it had only been five bloody, aching, painful days.

All he could do was stare at her hoping she'd give him the satisfaction of his answered gaze, but no, she didn't dare look at him. He was silently praying that she'd grant him the clemency he was hungered for. He was sorry, hell he was! He has done every way he thought was effective in gaining her mercy, he even read a bloody muggle book for crying out loud! Roses, a dozen of white roses to show sincerity as it has said in the book. He had had to bribe an house elf to do it for him since he had no effing idea as to how to put the flowers in the room without being noticed and aside from that, he didn't know the password to the fucking common room, so yes, he has just bribed the stupid house elf of bringing it to her room, instructing the creature over and over again for what seemed like a hundredth time before it finally understood the seemingly subtle plan. But instead of getting the fantasy of hermione running into his arms and saying he was forgiven coming to life, he just found his flowers thrown enthusiastically in the garbage can. Chocolates. Everyone loves chocolates. He sent her chocolates through different owls one breakfast morning, and she became the envy of every girl in school. But she touched not one and as an alternative gave every single one to ron. He bloody wanted to cut his arms off, and maybe also his tongue for touching the things He has given to hermione. He has done more, and if he mentioned it all, he a day would not be enough to enumerate them all. Merlin! it was only 5 days and yet he feels he was going to St. Mungo's with the bleakness hermione was showing him. Hermione Granger did not take notice; nonetheless, she refused to acknowledge his existence. And that pained him more than anything else. And if it went beyond what he can handle, it is going to drive his reasoning into oblivion!

So there he was lurking in the shadows, late in the afternoon, almost nightfall, watching her as she strode right pass him into the gardens. No one was out there today for everyone else was studying for snape's sudden obsession with everyday tests. And in each test, only two people managed aced them, Draco and Hermione, while the others miserably failed. He needn't worry about the test. And so did she. Everything else everything else is perfect compared to predicament he holds. She was now sitting comfortably under an old acacia tree, her legs straight and hands upon her sides, supporting her weight. Her beautiful face was facing upward, eyes close. He was taking in the vision he had. Her hair dancing slowly against the wind, skin glowing against the rays of the sun. it took all of his will not to run after her and take her right then and there. But he stayed rooted where he was, afraid of the rejection he knew was readied before him. And yet his thoughts were diverted to what his heart was dictating upon him, screaming at him to suck up all that is left of him and go near her, talk to her. It has been a while, and the sun was beginning to set, still the environment was free of the bustles of students. Hermione the got up, stared far off and stretched a bit. Just as she was about to walk away from sight, or as he thought so, Draco took hurried glides towards her. It took every ounce of courage he had left in his body to not turn around and walk away. He was behind her now, and she was still ignorant of his presence. He didn't know what to say, his thoughts were a mess because of anxiousness and fear.

He wasn't ready but as hermione turned around agonizingly slow, he whispered with exigency, "hermione…" it was all he could muster and she froze. She didn't move, as if she was stupefied right then. He could almost swear she was no longer breathing. "hermione..i, I, I'm sor-sor.. i'm sorry" he stammered, looking at her, willing her to look at him too. But she was dead unvoiced, and he was mutely hoping that she would scream at him, hex him, curse him, anything else but this silence. He concluded to never shut her up again if she ever did talk to him again. He cupped her chin with his right hand and forced her to look unto his eyes. He wanted her to see his sincerity. To his surprise, she didn't brush him off as he expected her to. She lifted her chin up and finally, their eyes met for the first time in days. Her brown eyes were clouded with so many emotions that he could not distinguish one from the other. She on the other hand saw the sincerity in his eyes which upon seeing hers almost instantly changed into confusion. It was killing her, just like it was killing him. she loves him so much she cannot deny it anymore.

"talk to me goddamit!" he screamed as he released her chin and caught her shoulders, shaking her vigorously that it was making her dizzy. She still stayed quite, but did nothing to abate what Draco was doing to her. She bowed her head once again, releasing their hold on Draco's eyes, finding the earth more amusing. "speak to me hermione! Be mad at me for all I care! I died a thousand deaths already when you told me that you love me, do not make me die again by ignoring me! It is killing me each and every time you do it so would you just bloody notice me, please!" he said, when a hint of sadness in his voice, but anger was more dominant in it. He released her and took refuge of the tree, his back facing her. Hermione had so many things in mind, but all she muttered to him was "I, I love you Draco…I love you even if it would be the death of me. I love you even if everyone else thinks it's wrong. I'm sorry if I'm making this hard for you but I need to move on from this apathetic situation you have handed upon me. i-" but before he could finish, he grabbed her by the waist he silenced her with a kiss, unfathomable and passionate, his hands enjoying again the feel of her body against his, relishing the feelings that are now elicited from each other's body, once again exploring the anatomy of the girl he dearly loves. It was long and hard, but when he broke free, foreheads still touching, eyes closed he whispered it so slow that Hermione had to strain her ears in order to hear it

" I love you Hermione Granger even if that's the last thing I'm ever gonna do. I am sorry for making you feel unimportant to me, but you are a part of me now, something bounded to me, a piece that completes the whole me. I never told you that for I was scared you'll reject me, that you will not return the affection I have. I wanted to eradicate these feelings, so I did it with pansy, but it wasn't meaningful compared to what we have, _it was nothing that i am disgusted with myself! _I thought only of you the whole time, You have not idea-" hermione placed one finger on his lips, "ssshhhhh, ssssshhhh…it's alright love, I understand…. I understand" and they kissed again, with more ardor. His mind was swirling with thoughts of how he could survived life before without her in it, while she was drowning herself with musings that this wasn't a one-sided affair after all, she loves him and he loves her and that's all that mattered at the moment. They were kissing as if tomorrow would not come, caressing each other, memorizing and rememorizing each other, not eager to let go. Draco then lead her to the room of requirements where he agonizingly thought of what he needed before he could enter. With hermione in his arms, thinking has become a laborious task. Hermione giggled when he had to stop kissing her just to think of what he wanted in the room.

"having a hard time, love?" hermione whispered as she licked his ear lobe with a finger running up and down his arm..

"continue doing that love and I'll drive you senseless right here in the corridor, now" with that hermione stopped, her mind obviously beginning to think "now love, I was only teasing you" Draco said huskily and he found the knob, he opened the door and they were inside.

Clothes were torn and ripped from top to bottom, each was eager to touch without restrictions. When they were both naked, Draco then carried her to the bed as a groom does to his bride.

As he positioned him there, he stared into her eyes again, then studied her body without malice. Hermione blushed as he felt his eyes gaze from her face to her breast and turned scarlet when his gaze went lower. He was more aroused if that was possible. He has made love to her oh so many times and yet she was still shy around him. It was driving him mad. He drew his face close to hers, and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

"will you love me forever, Hermione Granger?" his lips brushed hers gently, his voice was pleading and filled with raw love.

"until forever holds an end Draco Malfoy" she whispered back, and they kissed with all they passion they had in them…Draco pulled back and whispered again,

"until forever holds an end..."

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She couldn't stop herself from smiling the next day. She was grinning from ear to ear that Harry and Ron were starting to think that Hermione got hit on the head that she was going mental. Professor Trelawney didn't even sour up her mood. She was so happy that it scared her. For she knows that something bad would happen next. But she pushed that notion aside savoring only the now and just letting tomorrow worry for itself. That was all that mattered for now, she was in love, and he loves her too. She wondered for the briefest moment how things could ever go wrong, but instantly concluded that nothing could ruin it, nothing.

He was worried. But not that kind of worried that is bad. He was worried in a good way at the ridiculous smile his _girlfriend_ seemed to be wearing today. Yes, he has finally brought himself to say it, and surprisingly, he loved the sound of it. He was now smiling too. Was happy to that highest level that he didn't even make snide remarks when pansy clumsily poured orange juice on herself. He was lucky that the girl who held his heart was returning his affection and that she has forgiven him despite the apatheticness he has showed towards her, despite the unforgivingness of his actions towards her, nonetheless. He was blessed with so much right now that it almost scared him. but at that moment he let it slip his mind.

He was happy.

She was happy.

_And for now, that was the only thing that matters._

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Dun dun dun dun!!:)

**A/N: **again, forgive the grammatical and spelling errors you may have found and noticed, I once again made a dash for the pc once my mum was out of sight! Haha! Yes, I mentioned about rereading my fic, but I meant about the plot and not about the grammatical and spelling errors it may contain! This was done in a jiffy and posted faster than it was saved, so please grant me your mercy (sounding like Draco? Haha)**_..by the way i wanted to put in full detail the way they made love(not only their love making scene but also some detail by detail wrath of hermione) but my mum would be back any moment from now so i just skipped the bloody part for later...just tell me if you want their detailed love-making scene.._**.well, this is it for now, and I may not be able to post for a while.. i am going to be busy with my enrollment plus I am down with the colds…

Please, satisfy my_** hunger**_ for your reviews!

i mean c'mon, it's not that hard to do, just press that button down there..

come on, i know you can do it..there you go!


	10. a treasured memory

**A/N**: well, I didn't know how to post their detailed 'love scene' without letting you guys have to read the last chapter again… so I just decided to post it in this chapter as a flashback… I hope you guys don't mind…

If it's good, please do tell me(it'll help me improve) and if it sucks… still do tell me…I don't care if it'll break my heart, I'll accept it…

_**pirateluver: **this cold really sucks! Tis still not disappearing.. piff!.. anyhows, mirthful to hear that you liked the last chapter:)_

_**River of Souls: **yeah… people…Is it really hard to press the darn button?? Lol..here's the update:)_

_**ILOVERWHPDM: **well, I'm still trying to figure that out… I want it sad, then I want it happy the next.. ugh! I just can't make my mind up… but I'll pm you as soon as I finally make the life changing decision! Hehehehe:)_

_**Chrystal Slara**: lol ..well, here it is.. do tell me if I did a decent job or if I sucked..:)_

_**bananna15**: thank you:) and here are the details..:)_

**Here goes nothing…**

_I'd really appreciate it if you'd leave a review you know... hehehehehe _

_I personally dedicate this chapter to all those who left me reviews from the beginning till this chapter, and for those who are yet to leave a review.._

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_-we soared above the clouds without having our feet leave the ground-_

It was bothering her.

All those lies she willingly told to Ron and Harry whenever she would sneak a date with Draco. She's sorry for all of it, but she's scared of what they might ask her to do if she'd let the truth come out. It pains her to lie to her friends, but she's still not ready for the ridicule she'll receive once she opens up to them.

And so there she is, lying on her four poster bed in the dead hour of the night, surrounded with yellow and red, waiting for the clock to strike 12. it was still 10, and Ron and Harry had both gone to bed, having quite a tired day from practicing quidditch, since the final match with slytherin was drawing near. Hermione was tossing and turning on her bed, unable to keep her self calm as she grows with more excitement and anticipation as the time draws near, the time when she'll finally meet up with her lover, the time when they'll cherish one another over and over again. She was never going to tire of it, and she was sure that's o was he. No matter repetitive the routine had become, the passion and the gusto was still there. When she was in his arms, everything else seemed to disappear along with her worries. Everything they had, she'll forever keep in her heart… most especially that night they made love, real love, that night he finally said that he loves her, really love her…

"_are you nervous, love?' he asked in a strained voice as he stared intently into her dark brown eyes filled with nothing but pure love._

"_just a bit," she confessed. "it's just that I'm worried about what tomorrow has for us"_

"_let tomorrow worry about itself love, for we wouldn't get there if we won't enjoy tonight" he said to her reassuringly._

_Out of nowhere, a rose appeared in his right hand, and he used it to trail every contour of her face, his gaze never leaving hers. He tossed the rose gently at the side table and cupped her face with both of his hands as he said,_

"_I love you very much, Hermione Granger". He was looking at her with so much love and passion and sincerity that her eyes were filled with tears, but she didn't allow herself to cry._

_Like a schoolgirl who just saw her crush, butterflies were in her stomach and simultaneous shivers went down her spine when her nibbled her earlobe, then nuzzled the side of her neck. She was hungered for more contact. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, one going at the nape of his neck, her way of telling him that she wanted to be kissed, now._

_The passion between them was explosive that both of them were already panting from the kiss alone. By the many times they have made love, he already knew more of how her body would response to him than she did. Hands were everywhere. She wondered how this quidditch team captain could be so strong yet tender at the same time._

_She fed the famine in her eyes as she feasted upon this god above her. The muscles in his torso were very well toned. 'Quidditch', she smiled at the thought. She planted butterfly kisses on his face. Their breathing was now frayed from desire._

"_Let me love you Hermione" he begged her with his rough seductive voice._

"_With pleasure Draco..."_

_Tonight was different. The pace was agonizingly slow, but she was liking it as much as he did. Draco sought for her perfect round breasts sucking one first then the other, making hermione arch with a fevering desire. His mouth now moved slowly down, going lower as he left kisses to make his trail. She gasped his name as he reached the folds between her thighs, and so she shifted her body with expectancy._

_Draco was savoring the sweetness there, making him more aroused than he already is. She moaned his name over and over again as he led his tongue into the sweet depths of her. He was losing control every time she whimpered his name with a pleading voice. Finally he sought her lips again, and he kissed her hard this time. She wrapped her legs around him, expectant._

_Nothing could ever keep them apart as he brought himself inside her, making his thrusts slow at first. Everything lay forgotten before them and forgiven as she clung to him, wanting him to delve deeper into her, clinging to him as if he was a vital necessity for her living. She was now moving with his rhythm, one and united, whole and complete. She closed her eyes as they moved faster and faster, sending her mind into whirlwind of pleasure, he did the same as the tension of their love making was getting stronger at the moment, every thrust leading her to the ecstasy only he was capable of giving her. A cry of contentment exploded from both of their lips as they reached their cataclysmic climax._

_They were in a mesh of arms and legs as they laid there together, still having aftermaths of their love making._

_Hermione propped her head upon his chest, listening intently to the beating of his heart, while one hand was tracing the muscled of his right arm. Draco planted a kiss on her head as he breathed in the scent of her—lilacs and vanilla,, his favorite scent ever since he smelled her._

_Hermione was the first to speak, "I want it to be like this forever, Draco."_

"_I too my love, I too" he answered as he connected the palm of his right hand to her left, and happily saw that even that fit so perfectly together. He clasped it tightly and kissed her hand, then brought it to his chest, where his heart was now beating madly._

"_as long as out hearts beat, you and I belong only with each other…" he whispered to her as he once again kissed her head. Hermione smiled and snuggled closer to him, taking in his scent, savoring the sweetness of this moment, wondering how perfection is derived from the imperfection of other things._

Her thoughts went back to the present. She smiled looked at the clock. _ten minutes to twelve. S_he jumped out of bed and crept outside the door, careful not to wake anyone. As soon as she climbed out the portrait, she dashed into the halls towards the room of requirements, where they always met.

She was tense, like she always was, as she opened the door and stepped inside. Draco was there already, undressed and lying on the bed. She quickly discarded her clothes and followed suite.

They kissed for what seemed like an eternity, then Hermione broke the kiss and said,

"we have to tell them Draco. Ginny is getting suspicious of my late-night-till-morning rendezvous, and I'm running out of excuses."

He kissed her forehead as he whispered "I know love, I know," he kissed her again and added, "your friends will get over it, maybe not soon but they will. I'm only worried about what my father would do…"

Hermione sensed the anxiousness in his voice so she said, "I'll tell my friends then, and we'll worry about your father tomorrow?"

"tomorrow then" he replied and once again claimed her lips.

That's all they had, tomorrow.

_Tomorrow._

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**A/N:** yeah, yeah I know, it's short… But hey, this was supposed to be part of the other chapter, but I was a sloth to type it then… just think of it as a filler.. hehehehe.. and yes, I was sneaking again to use my computer.. sneaky me, I just can't let you guys wait right?... stupid colds, getting in my way of writing! Piff! And now it's ruining my thoughts too!

Well, do tell me if I'm improving with this 'love-scene' business… I dunno if i've done one helluve a job or if I absolutely sucked…

thank you again for the reviews!...

(press that button down there, c'mon, it won't bite, be brave and just do it! Don't spend your whole life wondering of 'what-could-have-been' if you had pressed that button…lol)


	11. friends forgive, right?

**A/N**: wow, thank you all sooo much for the reviews! I'm sorry if I can't reply to all of you personally, I plan to but my computer is so darn slow that I give up even before it's done loading…something to do with my internet connection maybe..

Sorry for the long wait for this chapter, my mother's in the house lately and she's been keeping an eye on me…I think she's got this gut feeling that I'm sneaking the use of my pc..hahahahaha… well, I'd love to acknowledge all of the reviewers but I'm in a hurry while typing this, so I promise that I'll give you all due recognition in the next chapter!

Now without further a due, the next chapter!

_Here goes nothing!_

_(Begging for reviews!)_

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"_Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,_

_While loving someone deeply gives you courage"_

_-Lao Tzu_

"love? You love that man Hermione?--" Harry practically screamed at her.

"You must be out of your mind!" Ron finished for him. all she can do is calm herself down, gather her emotions and hold back the tears.

They've been yelling at each other for hours. It was a Saturday and most of the other students have already gone to hogsmeade. They were on their way there when Hermione decided that she wanted to tell them about her relationship with Draco. She was tired of keeping secrets from them. After all, they are her best friends, and lying to them is somehow short of betraying them-- Not that She hasn't betrayed them by loving Draco behind their backs. Surely they'd understand that love is a phenomena that cannot be held back once it has found it's target. Hermione told them that she wanted to talk to them, Ron and Harry, in private, so they took a detour and headed towards the lake instead. As soon as they found a spot near the lake, all three of them sat together. The air was cold, it was December, and everything around them was covered in white. _'almost seven months'_ hermione thought to herself, She and Draco have been lying to everyone else about their relationship for seven, agonizing months. They were supposed to be enjoying their last year in Hogwarts happy with their friends, each minding their business. Though Hermione didn't get the spot for Head Girl, she didn't mind at all for she knew that it would be a burden to her already load-full of schoolwork, and besides, she was just happy about being a prefect and getting to patrol the night with Draco. It was just an excuse, a facade they made for any student that may have come their way. They pretended to hate each other, throwing at each other snide remarks whenever they got the audience, but as soon as the watching crowd disappears, they look for the nearest, dark place snog the hell out each other and make passionate love whenever they get the chance. It was hard at first, the hiding and the secrecy of it all, but they both got the hang of it. They had this private joke of their own that they could win the grammy's for the great acting skills they possess. But it wasn't satisfying for Hermione, and neither was it for Draco. They want to do it in public, out in the open where they could proudly profess their love for one another, but as much as they want to, all odds were against them. Of only things were different, they wouldn't be caught in this spiteful web of predicaments that the only solace they could find was in each other's arms. They would have to face the consequences of their actions sooner or later. Hermione's time of facing it was now.

"What did you want to talk about, Hermione?" Ron asked as he caressed hermione's cheek. He was sorry for all he did to her, and now, he'd do anything to make up for all the wrong doings he's done to her in the past.

The moment Hermione blurted out that she was in love with the enemy, all hell broke loose.

"you can't be bloody serious!, Hermione what's gotten in to you?" Harry yelled at her as he stood up and began to pace. This was the first time hermione saw Harry this mad, not mad, furious.

"Hermione, I said I was sorry to have cheated on you, but this is no way to make me pay for this! Malfoy? There are lots of boys in this school, why did you have to choose him?" Ron's ears were now turning red, signifying the anger boiling inside. Their relationship ended some months ago when Hermione decided that she was tired of trying to hold draco's irrational tempers whenever he saw the two of them being intimate. Draco knew it was just to keep faces, but jealousy is the hardest emotion to contain. Though she never planned to tell Ron about seeing him cheat with lavender, it was the only reason hermione could come up with the moment she ended it with Ron. That day Ron and Hermione broke up, Draco Malfoy was the happiest guy on the planet, cracking jokes every once in a while, smiling to himself. It was so unusual of him to be acting that way that even his slytherin friends were beginning to freak out from his sudden burst of laughter and grins.

"But Harry! Ron! You have to listen to me! Listen toy my reasons!...", She begged them, pleading evident in her voice. She was unable to control the tears that were now rolling down her cheeks. She just remained sitting there, head bowed down, breaking into sobs.

"I- I tried to NOT love him, but the more I did, the more this emotion grew. At first I thought he was just taking advantage of me, of my vulnerability, but he isn't who you think he is, he's caring-"

"Malfoy? Cares? Oh look, frogs are flying, weehee" Ron spat at her, while Harry was still lost in his own thoughts

"Would you listen to me for a moment Ron?" She screamed at him at the top of her voice. She was losing it already. She already knows her wrongs, but do they have to be this bleak?

"I AM listening hermione"

"no you're not! You can hear me but you're most definitely not listening! I LOVE him goddamit and whether you approve of I or not I LOVE him and it's not going to change! So spite me as you might like, hit me with your fists for all I care! But nothing's going to change! I LOVE HIM!" she finished, panting. There, she said it. Ron just stared at her wide-eyes, still taking in what she has said, looking at her as if she has just lost her main. Harry stopped dead in his tracks, his back facing the two of them. Then without a word, he went to Hermione and hugged her. He hugged her and Hermione instantly broke into sobs.

"I'm sorry Harry, I'm so sorry" she told him in a bare whisper.

"it's alright Hermione, I'm not mad at you, just shock. We know you're distraught about this, and we're sorry for making you feel worse." He hugged her tighter this time, trying to make her feel that he is till his friend and will always be there for her no matter what. As soon as Hermione calmed down a bit, he helped her up and they both looked at Ron. He had his hands in his pockets, while he was kicking the snow playfully. They stood their in silence, while the snow was drifting slowly with the wind bustling around them.

"Hermione," Ron began, "just take care of yourself. And… And we're still friends, right?"

Hermione smiled and she hugged him tightly. Ron was taken by surprise, but his hands slowly made their way to her back and he began to return her embrace. When they released each other, Ron jokingly added "Maybe frogs are learning to fly?" with that, the three of them burst with laughter and they were headed for hogsmeade.

'_Draco was right, my friends would get over it'_

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In the slytherin common room, another form of outrage was taking place between Pansy, Blaise and Draco.

"you can't be serious Draco! The mudblood? Of all, you chose the mudblood?" pansy shrieked, distress was written all over her face.

"you know what pansy? I bet you my whole gringot's account that no painter could draw your face right now—even magically!" Blaise remarked while laughing at his joke. He cared less about what his best friend's affairs contain, and personally, he never saw him this serious about any girl. He never saw Draco this 'in love' with any other girl, mind you that almost all daughters of well known pureblood families have slept in draco's bed, and not one of them has been given the privilege to come back for more. Well, maybe except for pansy. She's like a virus that has grown immune of Draco's bickerings of her. Every night she would crawl up naked into Draco's bed, and Draco being the sloth would just let her have her share of fun. But these past seven months, there was no Draco to crawl up to in his bed, and pansy was getting disappointed about it. Blaise knew about the affairs Draco was having every night, he just didn't know with who and he never expected it to be with Granger.

The very granger that he loved to spite along with potter and weasely. _'no wonder he's been staying away from the golden trio' _blaise smiled again to himself.

"I swear blaise, you smle one more time to yourself without any valid reason, I am going to deliver you to St. Mungo's myself" Draco said as he sat down on one of the chairs in the common room as he crossed his legs on top of the table, with his arms crossed on his chest.

Draco was getting tired of pansy's constant attempts of trying to seduce him _again_, and he was making sure that that never happens again, he didn't want the love of his life slip away, _again_. He was lucky to be taken back by despite of his actions, and he wasn't going to find any reason to make Hermione cry, _again_.

"Maybe the bitch slipped you a love potion!" pansy suggested as she sat across Draco with a face Draco would have loved to capture in a camera to keep or maybe to spread in local magazines.

"I assure you pansy, if Hermione really did slip me a love potion, I would not want to be worn out of it" Draco said to her with a sly smile.

"then you must be really be out of your mind! What will your father say? You have touched that low being! What are other people going to say? What if they'll find out? You'll be ruined!"

"oh let them mock me pansy, let them ruin my name, I do not give a damn! I love her and that is all that matter to me. and as for what my father is going to say, I am yet to find out… by the way, you are more of a bitch that her so do not call her that again or God knows what i might do to you and please, do not worry about me pansy, you have too many wrinkles on your face, and I hate to be the reason for more of them to come out." With that, Draco stood up and walked out of the room, leaving a hysterical pansy to Blaise. '_thanks a lot pal'_ Blaise thought to himself.

He decided to head to the astronomy tower to be relaxed his ears from pansy's shrieks. He asked Hermione if she could just not go to hogsmeade with potter and weasley so he could make love to her for the rest of the day, but all she told him was that the offer was tempting but she must tell her friends already. As she said that to him, he sensed the tension overwhelm her, and so he kissed her with the passion he has for her.

As he looked out the window, he saw his love along with her best friends. He was smirking as he watched the priceless look on weasley with whatever Hermione had told them. But whatever bothered the three of them was now forgotten, for they now were walking to hogsmeade with a smile.

He drowned himself with memories of their lovemaking the previous night, and decided for himself that it is going to work out with hermione— no matter what happens. Fate may twist them apart but he knows he'll find ways to overcome whatever storm is heading their way.

_Father._

His father would not destroy the only happiness of his life.

_He will not._

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A/N: yeah I know… I'm stalling the part where Lucius will finally find out about Draco and hermione because I honestly do not know how to make the revelation happen…well, anyhows, forgive the errors you may have noticed in this chapter for I am typing with the speed of a bullet, I WILL correct them as soon as I get the chance!… hahahahaha…

do tell me how'd it go!

-oh no, I think I hear my mum nearing me!-

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